Name: Jimmy
Age: 22
School: Done.
Country: So Ko
Likes: remembering
Happiness
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--
homer's tour pics
my tour pics
almost not quite half-way
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Tonight, I just discovered how terrified I am for the future.
So many questions that need to be answered.
Where will I live? Who will I live with?
How will I get by on the little money I'll be making?
Will the new people at work like me? Will they have my back?
Will the work be what I hoped it to be?
Did I make the right choice?
I'm leaving San Francisco. I'm also leaving this blog.
Koremix88 has been good to me, but I feel that it's time to retire this blog and move on.
It's kind of amazing that a decade of my existence, my footprints on this Earth,
have been recorded here. Once in a while I read through old posts and I get to meet old friends,
revisit old jokes and remember colors, sounds, smells.
It's important to remember things. I believe it to be very much intertwined with the meaning of
life. To remember. To honor.
I'm not sure what the future holds. I'm grateful to have kept a small record of how I got here.
Thank you Koremix88. Thank you for reading.
Love,
Jimmy.
`* Jimmy + 11:14 PM*`
Senior VP stops me in the hallway and asks the milion-dollar question:
"do you want to stay in sf, because i'm trying to make a position for you."
Shit.
Is my initial reaction.
After weeks of convincing myself that LA will be
good to me, you expect me to be able to switch right back?
It's strange to be stuck in so many places at once.
i'm in SF, but i'm also in LA. Also in korea.
I'm a college graduate in a freshman's body.
I'm a foreigner for a moment and a homeboy the next.
I'm an adult but not a man yet.
I'm stuck between yesterday's love and tomorrow's.
Even if they might be the same thing. The same person, even.
See you tomorrow.
Love,
jimmy
`* Jimmy + 8:00 PM*`
Around 10am, Michele calls me over to talk more about the job.
"You really have to start thinking about whether or not you really want to go back to LA."
At first I take her words casually, but the look on her face takes away my initial enthusiasm.
"It's gonna be hard. The life-work balance will be difficult, but you'll be doing
stuff that no other PR specialists get to do. But make sure this is something that
you want."
Immediately my mind flashes back to college, the late nights, the social sacrifices,
the strain it put on my relationships... do I really want to go back to that?
By chance, I consult victor, our IT guy who I actually manage to have pretty deep conversations with.
We agree that it's a great opportunity and LA isn't that far from home. Right now
it's so hard to break into the industry and here's one they're gift wrapping for me.
It's time to grow up, Victor says. Work hard, scrape on by with the little money you
earn and you'll be surprised how much you mature.
I think i'm ready for all that. I hope.
Love, Jimmy
`* Jimmy + 1:14 PM*`
December 18 is my dad's birthday. He turned 52.
Tonight was a big success. Lots of family friends came over
and warmed our home with their laughter, cheer and love.
What a year it's been for him.
What a year it's been for everyone.
At the eve of last new years day, I wrote a post listing all
the notable events and accomplishments that had occurred in 2009.
Fogo de Chao with the CEC kids. Exploring Korea with KU ISC.
The worst thing on that list is the stomach ulcer that plagued me
during the last few weeks of my junior year.
In retrospect, 2009 was a really good year for me. I will always
remember it for being a happy year.
I even signed off by saying, "It's going to be an amazing year, everybody."
What a fool.
I hope not to eat my words later, but 2010 has been a tough year for me and my
family. Regardless of the elephant-sized emotional episode we've recently endured,
it's been a relatively give-and-take year.
I've come to question a lot of things I once held for granted but figured out some
things along the way. Overcame a few fears but gained new ones.
Made some new friends but shed a few.
More than anything, I think I've become sensitive to my own mortality.
Nothing serious. It's more for motivational purposes.
I'm not going to be here forever. And at any moment, everything I hold
dear can be taken from me.
That's one hell of an inspiration to get your ass into gear and live your life.
For me that means creating a purpose for every second in every day I'm here.
To love. To share. To create. To help.
To make someone happy.
I miss my uncle very much.
Happy holidays.
Love,
Jimmy
`* Jimmy + 12:46 AM*`
I think it's time to move to a new blog. More details on that soon.
Also, I've been writing music again lately, Here's a little sample.
This one's called cold people, cold night. When I walk to and come back from work, I
always see a good number of homeless people in the city. Sometimes I bring them food
and other times I'll drop some change into their cups. My parents have recently been
donating to a homeless shelter in SF and it's made me want to be more charitable.
Anyways it's cold tonight and I was thinking about the people out on the streets
tonight trying to make it until daylight.
I've got to find a player that's better than crummy old xanga. haha
I guess after 4 years of uploading music, my expectations for sound quality have
finally surpassed xanga's playback capabilities. Let me know if you know of a better
place.
Verbally committing to a new blog soon.
Love, Jimmy
`* Jimmy + 9:17 PM*`
Sometimes I wish the world was a smaller place.
Tonight it feels so big.
Best,
Jimmy
`* Jimmy + 11:12 PM*`
`* Jimmy + 1:21 AM*`