Walking around my house at night is kinda creepy. I no longer know where everything is so I keep stepping into and on things. Shoot, I used to navigate through this house for a midnight snack without making a peep.
I freaking hate this feeling. When I'm glad things are over but sad they are at the same time. I wanted this quarter to end SO BADLY.
It was hell.
It was hell hell hell hell hell.
KCN was a week later than usual so I didn't check into school until 4th week. Then CEC consumed my life thanks to USAC elections, Shorttakes and becoming new director-ness. On top of that I was taking 4 classes, working 10+ hours a week and never having time to eat.
The end result? A stomach ulcer (it's better now) and one tired, worn out Jimmy Hahn.
I can't believe that was only 11 weeks of my existence. It feels like KCN was a year, another country, a past existance ago.
I hate myself for admitting it, but the truth is, I will miss every moment of last quarter.
GAAAAH. I feel robbed of the relief I was hoping to feel at the end. And at the same time, really glad that the past few months were as fun and meaningful as they were.
I made some great friends and got closer to the amazing people I get to spend my time with at UCLA. The cool things I got to experience, the mistakes I made, the celebrations, the surprises, the sweat and tears and exhaustion, I will take it all with me wherever I go.
I miss it.
I went to little Ryan Dorsey's graduation party today and met up with their old neighbor, who is a '95 UCLA alum. He told me about a time when him and his buddy rented out a bbq tray (you could do that back in the day for 5 swipes! So jealous!!) and rolled out to Sunset rec to have a picnic with some friends. On the way there they stopped at the top of the hill and looked down at all the kids enjoying a day in the sun. The guy turned to his buddy and said, "Life isn't gonna get much better than this." And according to him, he's been right about that so far.
Crap.
What if life doesn't get any better than this? What if this is as good as things are going to get? You know how all those dumb jocks lived it up in high school because that was as big as they get to be in their entire lives? What if today is the biggest I'll ever get to be?
I mean, there's still so much I want to do. So many things I want to become. Still.
I guess that's what's keeping me up this late. I want every year of my life to be bigger and greater than the last.
I went to the psychology graduation on saturday and I could see myself sitting on the floor Pauley, getting ready to go up and get that little piece of paper that's nothing but an IOU from UCLA.
Time is moving fast. There's too little time. There's just too little time.
Korea in a few days. I've got one more in me before I leave.
Love, Jimmy.
ps. A quick shoutout to the class of 2009. Congrats you guys. I wish there was more time to hang out and make memories, but I will always cherish the ones we already have. Take care and see you on the other side :]
pps. I was driving on my way home from LA after only 3 hours of sleep and started to nod off.
This song snapped me out of it and saved my life. Honest to God, this is one of my favorite songs ever. Thank you Haesue.
I love studying because of all the new music I find during my procrastinating. And I know you're technically not supposed to listen to music when you study, because the context at acquisition and retrieval need to be as similar as possible to ++ memory performance (haha psychology is useful!)
But I don't care. Music gives me life.
And I hear music when I take exams- so whatever. Seriously, it keeps me going.
======= Lately I've been lazy and just posting up videos. But it's finals, so forgive me. I will post a real post soon.
One more song.
Temper Trap: Sweet Disposition.
Listen to it right- put it on full blast on speakers. Seriously, I feel like I'm flying above the clouds when I hear this song.
Connor sees flashing lights. Killer feel like she's driving really fast. Oh the power of music.
What do you see?
sweet disposition. never too soon oh reckless abandon like no one's watching you
a moment, a love, a dream aloud a kiss, a cry, our rights, our wrongs a moment, a love, a dream aloud a moment, a love a dream aloud